~La mémoire~~*~

2011-12-27T09:04:00.000+08:00

Dear Tuesday, Cloudy & Painfully

Again with the aching feelings
Again i think that living alive is an awful thing ever
I really did try
But YOU are non stop making me to lose the strength
Efforts?? What a bull shit
No matter how much i have tried
No matter how hard i pulled myself up
Useless, it doesn't help at all
YOU don't help at all.
Continue believing the lies hiding behind myself
Trying to make myself better
After all it seems just make it worst
All these are making me suffer whenever i think back
Is this what YOU want??
Is this what i really deserve for??
Is this a punishment caused from karma??
Giving me a life, making me to give up, and saving me back again
Is this how should life be??

2011-12-22T17:34:00.002+08:00

Dear Thursday, Cloudy & Moody

Do not treat me just like a stupid !!!
Don't tell me what should i do or shouldn't i do
Which i already know the rules
I may look freaking dumb
But i know what i am doing
If you don't have the confidence and trust on me
Don't act that i am good in it
Mood swing. Hate this feeling so much

Cindy, don't put so much expectation on promises
You don't deserve to fall that deep
Wanting something badly is just not so easy

Don't bear with me
The love and care i need are more than you can never expect
My greediness, selfishness, overbearing, jealousy you can never take it
Thanks for making me a heart-break
It reminds me i shouldn't go that far

Stop, Cindy !

2011-12-22T00:31:00.003+08:00

Dear Thursday, Cloudy

Ta da~~~
I am freeeeee from assignments with thousands and thousands of words to think
Handed up the last paper
Then went for my hair do
Hey, fringe, nice to see you back again =)
Free myself from the computer one whole day
But how come migraine seems never get away ??

Fully get back to my work again
Oppss...there's so much i have to touch up
Stress again and again
Even though the assignment period over
My goodness
Short one today, suddenly the mood turned down
Nights world

Night, my guardian angel
Sorry for letting you worrying about me recently
Thank you for supporting me always
Trying to lesser my stress, trying to make me smile
You did a lot for me, and i am appreciating much
You will be fine. Please get well soon, my guardian with blessed

2011-12-07T10:56:00.001+08:00

Dear Wednesday, Freezzy Cloudy

Just don't know why
I am getting mad to myself again and again
Outer pain release the inner pain so well
Thus keep creating scars on myself
Am i metamorphosis ?? or maybe insane ??
Never mind, these scars reminds me the pain i am getting through
By the time the scars dispersed, will be the time the pain goes off

Cindy, you are such insane freak !!!

2011-11-30T23:45:00.001+08:00

Dear Wednesday, Cloudy

Well finally hit down one paper
So takes some times here to vent my feelings
My hours of sleeps getting lesser and lesser
I am looking pale, more pale and pale
Two more papers to go and i have to rush one in only a week time
Oh Lord, kill me please

Migraine is getting serious and more pain than usual
Last night the hit was killing
Never been through such ache of migraine before
Felt like blasting my head off
Glad that it gets better today
Hopefully don't come back visit in this period of time
It really slows me down on my work
And is not cool to have this kind of pain

Been lesser down my work in office due to the rush of my papers
Always been loved dearly and worried
Trying not to become as your burden
Thanks for giving me so much of support and understandings
And i do appreciate much *with hugs

My hubby, the one who has been neglected by me in this period of time
Been through a harsh time with him on the same arguments
Which this pulls us closer to each other again
Knowing how we need each others so much
Tears may be a pain
But after the pains, i know
I love you still

Hello December, but you seems don't successfully cheer me up :( *Dislike

2011-11-09T22:25:00.002+08:00

Deary, Sunny & Shine

Well, it's coming to the year end, one more month to go
This is the month with assignments rushing
Again i will be hell stressing on those aching works in a month
So, i free myself some time to blog :)

She asked me a question, in a sudden just now...
What should i answer you? How should i answer you?
Never expect you would ask me this kind of question
Never think of how should i answer even though others could be asking the same question
This question...the answer....
I just don't know what can i answer
Never want anyone to know or even care about
Don't want anyone of you worrying, yet you all shouldn't be worried
Sometimes things just couldn't be solved at the moment or maybe it just couldn't be solved anyway

I am sorry, for letting you worried
I am sorry, for not letting you know what actually my feelings are
I am sorry, for doing anything might be make you feel sad
I am sorry, but i just want to keep it to myself
I do facing a real hard time recently, and i am trying to recover myself fast
But seems to be find it hard, is not easy to stand back up again and again after times of fall
But never mind, how hard it is, i am still trying hard...
I fell, i cried, i stand and again the process goes cycling again and again
Yet, i am still wishing to be invisible...

With loves <3

2011-10-20T09:08:00.002+08:00

20 Oct. Tearing

Dear you,

Been trying so hard to overcome
and you still fail
Thought you can handle it so well
and you fail again
How many times are you going to cry on the same shit
Why just don't you say "No", "Cant" or whatever to at least be weak for once
Why cant just you say you want to give up for once

2011-09-30T10:43:00.001+08:00

30 Sept, Blurry

Dear Brainy,

Don't torture me any more ok :(
I don't want to have headache
I don't want to have blurry vision
I don't want to be tired all the time
I don't want to feel like drunk drunk deii~~ @@

What happened to you lately...Brainy ??

2011-09-18T21:45:00.000+08:00

September 18, Rains

The mood has finally calm down
Recovering stage was hard
Overcoming stage was tough
Well, all these have passed and i am grown again :)

School startsFeels better than I thought
Back working as part timeMuch busier compared to Sem 1
Will not promise myself not to be last minutes
Because is what I always do, habit which cant get rid of
Lately, been wondering about something get me so helpless
No one I can share withIn a situation of 'Should I? or Shouldn't I'
Anyway, I shall smile and go on

"How much of tears been through,
I am still living tough" :)

2011-09-06T10:43:00.001+08:00

最近是怎么了？？眼泪总是不经意的流下心痛的感觉。。。又清晰了懊恼的感觉。。。又强烈了经不起的压力。。。感觉是如此的沉重不被了解的心情。。。是如此的孤寂算了。。。再怎么累，再怎么跌，再怎么痛都不想被了解又是时候。。。把自己隐藏又是时候。。。对自己说话又是时候。。。重新学着坚强无所谓。。。习惯了静静的跌倒。。。静静的哭泣。。。静静的思考。。。静静的面对。。。静静的一个人。。。就已经足够。。。就让自己好好的再哭泣在一下子。。。就好今天的我。。。不想微笑

2011-08-23T22:49:00.002+08:00

Well coming to the end of August
Been thrown myself in work environment
The internship report has been abandoned for months
The worst is until today i still got no any intention for it
Got no ideas how to start, where to start, what to start
I was busying working and working so seriously
and yes i forget i have a report need to submit
Okay, i am lazy i admit
I am still in my working mood, and i am not prepared going back to college yet

This August I don't like
Don't know what am i worrying for
Don't know what am i stressing for
Don't know what am i thinking for
Don't know where should i be
Don't know which way to go
Don't know who should i trust
Don't know how to be tough and strong
A lots of questions marked on my mind
Again with the non stop tears
Again so tiring

He came, guide me along from unknown to slowly i can step back on my track again
Appreciates and thanks so much what he've been taught and guided me
Giving me confidence and trust, supports and accepts what i could have did wrong all the while
He gives me chances to try a lot of things which i cant learn it from books
I am really fulfilled on what i've learned from you
and get to understand the world goes round like how's it always should be
I will be strong one day, my promise to you.

I'll will be fine, to go alone even though with tears =)

2011-07-31T10:58:00.002+08:00

The 5th years, 60th months, 1825th days

Been through so much pains and smiles together

From quarrels to appreciating each others all the time

From immature till treating each other as husband and wife

Discussion is now more than arguments

Talking get lesser because understanding has increased

Meeting each others get lesser because putting each others so close inside

These five years, putting so much in each others taking so much from each others

Though there are sometimes of frustrated, disappointed, ego

Still, loving each others much

Had a bad morning today

Didn't know the sharpen words can be so hurt this time

Didn't know i really do miss you so much this time

Didn't know i cant even lose you at all

Didn't know we need each others so much

Didn't know not meeting each others for a week could be that pain

Didn't know a word of 'Bye' can make me tears

The phone has been silence for an hour

What are you thinking right now, hub

With Love

2011-07-24T19:31:00.002+08:00

Soon coming to the end of July

Still the same, being late everyday

I was already wake up early, prepared earlier yet i am still late, why?!

I think i've fully adapted in my working position now

and forgotten i have the intern report to hand up on September

Another month and will be back to schooling life

A sudden feeling of dismay for leaving office as full time

Suddenly feel so unfulfilled for going back to study

Yet, i will still go on until i successfully get my degree

Right now, erggghh the stupid report

Accompanied MD went exhibition in KLCC yesterday

and made me realize my fear of the crowd

It was so crowded, people was walking around me,

made me so uncomfortable and dizzy

I didn't know i would so scare about

I didn't know why, didn't know what i was afraid of..

sickening huh O.o

2011-07-05T22:38:00.002+08:00

Hey Dear Diary,

Such a long time you have been left out =)

I am so busy with the load of work tasks

Having OT everyday (mostly)

All my efforts have put into all my tasks

Feels so much filled with my current life

Slowly adapting in the age of 21

Was being kinda depressed once

It was like i would have more things and problems i should face

The responsibilities of 21 are so much heavy than i thoughts

Things never go so smoothly as i wish

Yet, i do make some of my little time to be happy and saying to myself it will one day at least get better

I fill myself with loads of tasks to hide away from my problems

doesn't mean i don't care, is just because i don't know how

*******************************************************************

How sad that he is making me sick, the feeling of hate and anger towards him is getting stronger and stronger

To start a conversation with him, it can really makes me cry, because i just don't know what to say with him

The pains and hurts of feeling towards someone you did really loved before, it extremely kills

Don't wanna hear any story about you, it will just makes me more disappointed and hates

I won't ever trying to forgive just like you won't ever change

Chances given too much but you take it as useless shit

I should move on and slowly forget all those happy days i've been through with you

Flash back it may be sweet but sorry i just cant forgive what you have been done to us

Thank you for loving me still~

2011-05-22T20:49:00.003+08:00

Getting weaker and weaker

Trying to be tough and strong

Acting i am fine all the time

Smiling reluctantly outside

Crying hard inside

Sometimes i am just so tired with all these

Nothing would get better as what i thought

No one i can rely to

No one i can speak to

I might look strong all the time

But not inner part of mine

No one understand and i don't even want others to understand

Don't try to understand cause no one ever can understand

A stone may already broken, broken pieces can be strong as well

I cry loads, i hate most

I cant have my wishlist to be achieved

Even just a little small thing i wish to

I envy, i got jealous and i hate

So how...sometimes something just couldn't change

and have to bear with it all the times

Sad to have this kind of environment

Sad to have a man with no responsibilities in the family

Sad to have a woman with tears to brace the family

Sad to have a girl with tiredness to support the family

Yet, no one could just understand

Looking at some, yet i just cant compare

Appreciate the most i have now, yet still missing some pieces

Just like whatever a girl does have or might have

Life just so unfair, and you just cant escape

Until He say "Yes"

2011-05-03T16:11:00.002+08:00

Aloha =) It's May

And finally i've done all the assignments

I feel just so released Ahahahhahaha

Once i completed the last fcuking paper

I was so Urggg Hyperrrr

Left all the papers books pens everything aside

and threw myself to bed

Thank goodness How long i never sleep for more than 5 hours already ?!

Gonna start tune my time back to normal

What a life i had in the freaking April *Wasted

Bye SEGi for 4 months ?!!! And hello to the internship program with a report to submit =(

Going back to the office days

Can i have another 1 week time to be late, i wish =8)

These days i have lots of impression plus a little over of imagination

Hahahs....maybe express out in chinese version will be better

Well...HELLOOOSSSS

- MAY

- BED

- SHOPPING

- AND RESULTS

Happy yet Worries......

*Madness

2011-04-14T22:24:00.003+08:00

Month April...Is not so fun

Stress to the max !!!

Rushing with the assessments

And all are freaking hard when you really start to write something

Due dates are near...gosh

Got no extra times to slack :|

Im going through critical paths

Referencing is so annoying

just because of the stupid Turn It In system

The paper is like 30% hard already

yet still have to be so concerned with the referencing larr~ citation larr~

Sigh :\

My best record : I just slept for like 5 hours in 2 days FML*

3 more papers to go...Loads of articles, journals to be read

2 weeks to hit all down...By the time i am sure KO

I will definitely hug my pillow hard and lie on my bed next month

Hubby's birthday is near too...

Not even buy him a present yet

Argh...i hope i wont forget

But never mind, the bee will always remind me

Hahas ♥

Having a very bad skin condition especially my face T.T

I need to look for sleeping mask d...

*See...the 'chan' face

2011-03-26T14:27:00.002+08:00

Straight fringe again =)

A kinda depressed this weekends

Mood was down...Special thanks to PMS..Argh

Weather is hot Mood is hot what else more??

Jerrell boy is sick again

Being kinda sticky when i went visit him just now *Miss ♥

Gonna continue my assignment but i am feeling sleepy right now O.o

Next week test, test and test

Making my life so freaking hard and stress

Argggg....i am lazy

Went out with my boss to a small briefing for a Program

He made up a very brave decision....

Asked me to drive his Camry way down to KL

My goodness i never even drive out from KK

All the way down i was like...STRESSS

Flu right now.....down

2011-03-21T08:47:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Hellooo

Well, my life is getting so pack these days

Especially after since i started my study

Keep rushing with my works and assessments

Due dates and due dates are stated in my mind

Im going craaazyy with it

Gonna get my schedule done

And seriously organise myself well

Having hair drops again whenever all these are coming back to me

Hubby finally downloaded the games i wanted to play

or maybe the games i suitable to play O.o

One more month to his big day

He asked me what will i give him as a gift...

Em hrmm...i still dunno what to give

And actually i almost forgotten it's reaching April already

I think i should switch to Unifi

Though my streamxy is doing fine so far

There's always no screen in youtube

How's torture ?!

2011-03-03T20:58:00.005+08:00

Feeling kinda depressed these days
I know there's problem exist
But i don't know how to solve it I don't know how to face it all at
Why are these happen non stop in my life
I pray hard but no one even listen Why??
Shouldn't blame too much and keep believing that someday gonna be ok?

It's March
One more month to go for Semester 1
Realized that 2 years of Degree course is so short
Is like, huh so fast??
Haven't start any of my assessment yet
I wanna achieve much higher than Diploma
I know i aim high and yup i don't want to lose at all

*Pictures took on Annual Dinner (I'm fat)

2011-02-25T06:32:00.003+08:00

It's Friday and is coming to the end of Feb
How fast the days passed by
Well, i wanted to blog few days back after my connection was back finally
Yet ended up slept early and woke up late

My com i snow half done
Nothing else i can do other than online
I am thinking of reformatting it again, someone?
No sound no chinese words able to be read, kinda sad
The most sad part i still not able to start my assessments
3 subs each sub 2000 plus of words
......only i realized is not that easy to reach such amount....

2011-02-06T13:57:00.003+08:00

It's the 4th day i am in Penang

Effort in dieting failed again

He gonna laugh bout the fats again as usual but more this time

Hm...

Days living here....

Erm...

Nothing really special

But some places seem so strange for me

Been living here for 12 years

Everything changes so fast and different here

Motion is still going slow here

But i am kinda used to the motion goes living in KL

and it might sometimes give a heart attack (Not bad ma)

Can never run away from the nice food they have here

But if eating the same food in the same places

That's so pity /o\

I still haven't eat Prawn Mee, 'Lobak' erm ohh the banana pancake

Hm hm...

The regretful part: I missed the gathering with my primary classmates

Guys, sorry i missed this 2 years Sumimasen

I think today will be the last day staying here

Next day will be going down to Ipoh

Another 'stommy' satisfaction place to go

Im gonna double up my effort after back to KL

Tiring ....

My man, seems having his great time in KL without me Zzz

Just a few SMS a day, is like i am doesn't exist in his life before ?!

My goodness, that's my man lo

Take it as a short break for both of us

No more sticking each other so tight

No more keep asking who, when, where

A free pass for him to do what ever he want without me nagging all the times

But not something bad, thank you

Mad love you still =)

and I'll be back soon Muackz

I bought colored contact lens, finally

Erm kinda like the look of my eyes Heheee

Grandfather bought me a gold ring, i like the shinesss =)

Gonna end it here...

2011-02-01T19:44:00.007+08:00

It's February already

January ended with a very nice weather but a very bad situation

February still start with the bad situation with a very nice weather

What the hell is this Zzzz

Well, January was my last month working

Yet, boss asked me work as part time

So, started my part time today LOL

Degree started last week

So far so good, but hm....hmmm

Higher target to go, harder effort needed of course

New Year is so soon

Gonna leave him for a week

I will mad miss you, please behave ya ♥

Hm...Convo picccsss

Actually i'm kinda lazy to post it up

yet, i already posted in Facebook

Just realized is been so long i never take self picass =p

Haiyo, when can i have a functioning computer ?!

Pictures Time =) Just few

2011-01-16T20:39:00.002+08:00

Back again...
Went to update my address for Streamxy on Saturday
When can i get back my connection ??

Today....Hmm
A day with a very nice weather out there =)
And it was my Convo day as well
Woke up early early Went there early early
Rushed, yet reached only realized there're still many were not in
Morning till now, i just drank one glass of Milo *Claps*
I'm trying hard, and forcing hard =)

I still don't used to my make up look
Still looks so weird for me...
Pictures will upload soon...
When i have the connection back and time of course... (Patient)
Erm...Convo experience ??? So Bored but memorable
Degree...I'm coming back soon
Looking forward about it...
One more week Just one more week * excited 'dao'* Hahas

2011-01-14T23:29:00.002+08:00

A bad ending of 2010 with a bad start of 2011
Everything seems doesn't goes smoothly as i wish to
Things happened around making me so down and sad
again & again
No doubt, i was born with this terrible fate
Yet, i don't blame...even sometimes i do but i still trying to get over it

Life just doesn't goes easily as times go
Further i go harder i get
Just don't understand...What had i did wrong ?!
Why should i take in all these?! When will all these stop?!
Why don't i have the chance even one or two?!
These broken pieces you gave all these while
Won't you feel a shame at all, never?

When all these gonna stop
When all these gonna clear out from my mind
It's been years and years
And i'm really tired with all these
I used wish i shouldn't be living on my birthday when i was young
and now this wish came into my mind once again
I really hoping that i doesn't exist at all
I think things might get better without me

This is what you made me into
You brought me here & you dumped me here
You dumped us, as what you wished for so long
Congrats...

2010-12-29T06:37:00.002+08:00

Buy or don't buy...
Shoes haven't buy even i know it's a;ready enough
Bags ar bags ar....which type should i get yorrr
Convo coming soon leh...
Haven't get a proper dress yet...
Keep clicking 'Previous' & 'Next' in online shopping page
So many i like, i want
And some more...my hair is not done yet
Gosh...i'm going to over spend this time
Kill me please

Ok fine...i'm gonna take that...for last
Last...for this month

2010-12-27T06:04:00.002+08:00

Left home for 2 days and im back =)
Spent a not very great Christmas....
Never mind skip this...

On Christmas...planned to go Sunway for shopping
Ended up hell jamming with car park closed
Everywhere which can get to Sunway was highly jam
So turned to BU...
Went there but got nothing
All branded shops selling the same shirts which others can get too

Next day LOL
I spent over 100 almost reaching 200
Finally i bought something
The feeling was great
as in spending your own money from your salary
and it was my very first time get to spend my salary since i started to work
Previously im still thinking the style i prefer for this coming 2011
Now....Im thinking Casual with a little little sexy this time ;)

Mom asked:" So, have you buy enough for your new year clothings?"
Me:" Erm....nope and im now trying to go for online shopping"
Mom:" Still not enough ar??"
Me:" Nope....cause i left out bags and heels lo "
Haha...how can i leave these two important "accessories"
Have to spend myself a day for both of them
and i cant go with hubby
He will probably say:"You already have so much of shoes and bags, still want to buy buy buy"
Then i will like ....Hm i cant control myself Muahaaha <3
Now...the shopping moods are here
but money flow so fast....
Oh...a dress for my convo
Aiyo :@

2010-12-22T08:31:00.002+08:00

A post before i start my work of the day
Today is Winter Solstice
As usual, made some 'tang yuan' last night
Due to mom's hand still not recover yet so not much we did this year.

It's not a very good December for me this year
Things continuous happen around me day by day
Wanted to share with bee but seems he is having some problems too
Though he is so vexed these few days, he still manage to make me laugh all the time =)

We bought shoes last week
Wanted the same design with him
but so bad didn't have my size
So i took another one pink in color but same logo design
It's coming to the end of December alr
and i still haven't get any shirts for on coming Chinese New Year
Still not in the shopping mood tho
I kept seeing shoes and bags all the time
They just cant stop attracting me =O
And bee will always say:" You alr have so much of shoes and bags and you still want to get more..."
Eee...i know you don't like i spend on those unnecessary things eee..i will control I will =P

Love ya, bee

2010-12-16T06:25:00.003+08:00

Why is me again....

Same things happen around me again and again

I made wishes...but it won't just let it come true

Gave me hope again and again

Ended up with a splash

Why is it always me

What have i done wrong

I shouldn't exist May be

Wounds might rehab

Memories remain...Pain stays

I will never forget

I'm sorry i never make a sound

I'm sorry i'm letting you down

I know is hard...i'm sorry i just couldn't make it

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a very busy month

Maybe is because is the end of the year

So there're loads of work have to be done

Office, Home, College

Finally right?! Leaving my working life very soon

One more month to go

Registered myself for my degree program

Going back to Business & Management

This is the only choice i can go right up to Year 2

Have i made the right choices for moving forward to this...

2010-12-10T06:19:00.002+08:00

Early in this morning it should be great because is already Friday

But ~ My mood was screwed up My mind was non stop thinking all the stuff i dislike much

Sick again, yesterday MC.

Wanted to have a nice sleep after my medicine

Fell asleep very fast and suddenly....

heard something non stop knocking and screwing at the other side of my wall

Looked at my phone, What the H* was almost 12 midnight already

They renovated the house until this late night

Are they brainless or what

Complaint to my mom, back to bed covered with all my pillows on my head just in case they start it again

Woke up...extremely down with so much anger

I dislike everything i have to do today Dislike max

I just want my sleep back

Please end soon...My dearly Friday

Come soon My lovely weekends & please don leave

2010-11-26T06:21:00.002+08:00

Owh my god...So bad luck yesterday =(

Car broke down Sigh

Was panic at first

My car was stopping at the place i shouldn't stop

But no choice it just wont let me start and at least let me stop by the other side

Called mommy, asked daddy to come over

Sat in the car waiting...waiting with all the doors locked Haha

Felt scary when all the cars passed by

Colleagues passed by on their way home turned back /o\

So 'paiseh' lar

They stayed with me until daddy reached

Helped daddy pushed the car to the other side

Thank you Thank you =)

The most crazy part ever OMG

It's going to rain soon

Dad has to send me back first because he has to go and buy spare parts to repair

SO so....he sent me back by motorbike MOTORBIKE LO

My goodness and it's started to rain

Sat on the bike without a helmet, rain was splashing all over me, hair was like....

Never sit on a bike ages ago....

Owh i cant imagine...but it was fun with the rain splashing on my face Haha

What a day and now i'll be sick soon =)

2010-11-25T06:18:00.005+08:00

A short post today...

Was being so forgetful these days

I don't know WHY !!

and I'm not sick, maybe a little flu =)

It's coming to the end of year 2010

Soon, i'll be going back to my studies

I can't wait Can't wait

Told my superior about my leaving =)

2 more months and i'm free

Mood wasn't seem good these days

There're somethings in my mind

Lots of somethings in it but i ....

Anyway, i still have him with me all the time

no matter what, when, how

Just can't stop loving you

Very long never take picture of Myself already

Pimples growing and don't want to recover

Grr...

Am i fat ?? Yes, you are ?!

2010-11-18T06:18:00.002+08:00

Well, back with my English post

Yesterday was a holiday =)

Hubby was working so no outing with him

So mommy decided to go downtown for shopping

Went to the new shopping mall

Stepped in and looked

Ahaha VINCCI

but never took a very close look for all the shoes and bags

due to the crowd inside IDL

Went upstairs to Uniqlo

Was way too crowded than others cause they were having new opening sales

Quote described my bro the best "Early birds get the worms"

While i got a jeans there...Heehee

There's not much clothing caught my eyes

but the shoes and bags were making me mad crazy

The design was getting nicer and nicer every each shop i visited

I'm a picky type

I get regret fast...real fast

So got no shoes no bags this time

And then we walked back to Sg

Worst than Fahrenheit, nothing i can get there

Last, went KimGary for dinner Treats from me and daddy

Story ends....

No Spending for me until next month Sigh

2010-11-17T12:32:00.002+08:00

第四年。。。

默契增加了

经常都可以读到彼此的想法

没有隐藏

开心的不开心的，生气难过

都会放在脸上，让彼此知道

他。。开始叫我“肥婆”

每次当我一直吵着要减肥，他总会大笑个不停

我承认啦。。。我在这方面很失败

多得他。。。都是你的错

我。。开始会点点爱美

开始会买化妆品

当我吵着他买给我，他一定说“不行”

虽然不行，心里也觉得很欣慰

因为他爱上的是最自然的我

不过。。。哈哈我也会偷偷去买

我们拍拖的方式和别人的不同

没有以前的浪漫。。

没有很多的惊喜。。

没有逛街看戏美食。。。

但还是很幸福

四年不长也不短

一起经历的事情不多也不少

虽然偶尔面对不少的阻碍与批评

虽然偶尔不被看好

但因为坚持，相信

所以延续。。。

我们的未完待续 YY

2010-11-16T06:07:00.003+08:00

在一起的第三年。。。

开始叫着彼此老公老婆。。
过这像老公老婆的生活
吵吵闹闹的
开始爱上小孩子的游戏，带点怀念的游戏
偶尔还会pillowfight。。
总是让我们笑得喘不过气

他开始变得很黏
开始对我管教深严
总爱担心很多很多
偶尔会觉得失自由
但心里很明白，已经成了他生活的一部分

习惯了他的坏脾气

虽然很讨厌，但自己的脾气不好

所以偶尔会妥协的接受

因为自己也爱乱发脾气，因为没人或物让我发泄

唯一的他就会是我的出气筒。。。

对他说些有的没的，偶尔他会冷静偶尔会生气

这一年里，因为就快大学毕业

是我最紧张也最火爆的一年

因为一只想超越自己，很努力的火拼

有时会把最爱他给遗忘，有时会把他当纸巾拼命洒泪

每到考试时间，往往会让他心疼，陪我熬夜

我唯一的他。。。总在我需要他在身边的时候

就一定会陪着我

每当想念他的时候，他的信息总是来得合适

他不再忽冷忽热，我不再有所谓的少少公主病

虽然彼此不能认定，至少彼此不再飘浮不定

2010-11-12T22:31:00.004+08:00

Ta~da~

The 'tong shui' =(

The story begin like this....

As usual, we were sms~ing

and suddenly i received his reply and saw THISSSS

I was like OMG! WTH! ARGH!

My sweet sweet tong shui Hmph

Bad hubby ):<

Never thought that i am liking this desert so much

Until the day i kept pursuing hubby to buy for me =)

End up both of us like it so much and buy it almost every week

Hahahaa

2010-11-11T06:42:00.001+08:00

I smell rains...yumyum

Thursday Thursday and then Friday

then then weekends LOL... awaititng

Hubby keep non stop asking me for his POKEMON

My Goodness

eee...to be continued Haahaaa

2010-11-10T06:12:00.002+08:00

在一起的第二年。。。

偶尔吵吵闹闹，感情加深了

脾气火爆的他，总让我很生气但又很心疼

他总爱担心我这个那个

这个不行那个不行

总让我觉得很不自由但心里还是甜甜的

这一年，陪他度过了他最低潮的时候

失去身边最重要的依靠，让他不知所措

他的泪滴是如此的难以忘记

因为害怕给不到我需要的幸福，

他想过放弃

他的那一句让我大哭一场

好像告诉他其实无所谓

但我一句都说不出口，因为都没用

心不停的痛，眼泪不停的掉

最后换来了他的安慰

他的抱抱总让我觉得很安全很温暖

紧握的双手依在，我们更珍惜

经过此事，我更明白物质不能满足爱情

幸福更不可以用物质来衡量

所以那时候起，少了闹着他买这买那的

有他在身边就已足够。。。

这四年里的我们

2010-11-09T06:07:00.002+08:00

四年。。。一眨眼就这样的过了

彼此的喜怒哀乐都了如指掌

在一起的第一年。。

让人出乎意料的一对

一个稳重但漂浮的男孩

与一个任性霸道的女孩

一个高大成熟，一个矮小幼稚

我。。总是需要他时时刻刻陪着我

不管信息通电话也好，我都必须排在第一位

但他总是忽冷忽热，最爱泡网咖

而我最讨厌他三更半夜才回家

因为对彼此的不了解，所以总是为一些些的小事吵

曾经想过放弃，但因为彼此的霸道，我们坚持了

因为哭泣总是让他心疼，所以他明白了

一年很快就过了。。

因为开始了解，明白，所以少了争吵

更重要的是我们彼此珍惜 ♥

第二年。。待续

2010-11-08T06:33:00.004+08:00

Well well...

Wanted to have a long post this time

but left not much time

Not so much of depressed

Learning hard to be strong =)

Bought the Little Bee shirt for that baby boy...at last

Just cant wait to see him dress it up ><

:" Baby, see you later ya"

Erm bout my big boy

Post bout him next time

He always make my day my mood goes up & down

ILY ♥

2010-11-02T06:17:00.002+08:00

A little plus a bit more down down down

Continuous acting myself to smile

Continuous telling myself is just not far away

Continuous bearing with myself is just fine

Continuous asking myself to be strong

How long more i have to continually acting the who im not

Is just so tiring

I seriously don't like it there

No matter how much i tried

I just don't get myself fit into it

Work loads are pretty stressing

plus fully annoying

My life is being all up-side-down

once i started working there

Is so hard for me to cope

with all the same odd things everyday

2 more months....

Everyday i'm counting down

Counting down the days and leave

But hell yell: it's just November 2 today

I'm seriously stress to max

I want to shout out loud to release

But i no longer like who i was in my secondary school times

Whenever i feel there's so much of anger inside me

I will yell out to all the people around me

and well the most will be my mom

Yet, now i'm so grown up

All these yelling and fights are so unnecessary

and i think that's so stupid and childish

All these may keep inside...

Very deep inside

and slowly hoping it can recover soon itself

2010-10-30T06:40:00.002+08:00

It's a great morning with the smell of rain

But once i think about my damn working life...Sigh

The whole image in my mind is so imperfect

I'm not a run dog

I don't bark and i don't follow instruction

I hate instruction and rules which i think it's so unnecessary

Don't ever order me

I have my own opinion

I don't care your what-so-ever order

I like to have my own ways doing my own things

So shut the f up

=) Phewww....

I will soon make my blog become my best best friend

So i can wreak all my anger sadness in here....

As i called it The secret i can share ....

2010-10-28T06:10:00.005+08:00

今天有点心血来潮想打华语字 =）

为题：真爱。。。啦

真爱是每个人梦寐以求的吧

但往往真爱就是那么的难去经引

过程总是那么的艰辛

偶尔风平浪进，寂寞

偶尔雷雨交加，泪洒连连

偶尔花开盛放，笑脸迎迎

它就是那么的起伏不定

就是那么得让又爱又恨

人生在这一世，总会遇上不同的对象

如何看待每一次的感情，因人而异

珍惜或不珍惜就要看他或她值不值得去珍惜

爱情没有长短，所以请不要用时间去衡量

是你的就是你的

虚伪；自私；束缚；计较；不信任。。

是禁忌

偶尔触犯

可以让彼此了解得更多

但经常去触犯

更会让彼此失去一切

真爱无需多宜的鲜花掂缀，

只需一颗真诚的心去感受和付出

就以足够。。。

* 本人自认文笔不好，以上所属个人意见，别介意更不要抄袭 =）

感想？华文作文真的邮够难。。

2010-10-25T06:30:00.002+08:00

Stress days heading towards

Whenever i think of my job

My headache will just get me killed

I just want to leave..But how ?

Since when my weekdays seem so dull

I want to stay in home...stay anywhere else beside the fucking place i don't belong

Smile Cindy...Left 2 more months

Cry for these 2 months and that's it

No more being kind...No more being sympathy

You will have your reasons to leave soon

2010-10-21T06:31:00.003+08:00

I'm here to release anger ):<

Had a bad night

I was so so tired and someone rang

"HELLO there, it's 2 already Sigh"

Phone non stop ringing until i picked up and said "Hello"

then what's next was it hung up...*SHIT

Looked back my unread messages

Both from hubby :)

No bombastic words No complicated meaning

It's just sooo sweet :) Especially with the animation thingy

I love you more than i can say ♥

2010-10-18T06:27:00.000+08:00

2010-10-15T06:22:00.005+08:00

A real fast post...It's 6:21am already

Hmhm some problems occurred past few days

It's around me all the time...Sigh

I'm not gonna post something sad here...So chill :)

So, the bao bei Jerrell knows how to walk pretty well these days

He even knows how to on the switch and on my com...smart

He's learning how to say "da" but seems always came out "ah"

Haha...he is just that smart and cute ;)

It's great seeing a baby growing to a boy

learning things slowly steps by steps

Oh...hubby's nephew was born

Another cute baby boy :)

Gonna buy toys for him and Jerrell too ;p

4 years of relationship stable and smooth

Although there're some waves hit sometimes

He's gonna start his saving to my account Heehee

To prevent his money "fly" to nowhere *Poornya bee ni

Some advice: Don buy so many snacks larrr

I'm putting effort for my on-diet period

And he keep non stop laughing at me

just because i kept eating his snacks he bought

Hahaha...I promise i'm not gonna touch his snacks and junk food

but just a lil when hungry ;p

Advice again: Bee, you better hide your snacks when i'll be around

2010-10-11T06:15:00.003+08:00

Entering the second week of October

Nothing much changes

Problems keep appearing around me again and again

Getting more and more tired towards life

Feeling so lost again and again

Going further and further from where should i belong

Taking the wrong path as usual, may be

Forcing myself to the end of no where

No one gets to understand me

I'm such a complicated one

I don't need you guys to understand

I don't like to share

I don't like to express

I keep all to myself

No matter how angry inside me

No matter how sad i feel

No matter how sore my heart is

No matter how and what

I take it all

I angry to myself

I cry alone

I learn to be strong again and again myself

whenever i fall...for times

That's alright

This is me

who stands alone, falls badly

How many falls should i take for the rest of the life time

2010-10-04T05:53:00.002+08:00

A brand new week of October starts

Unhappy weekdays begin

Sigh

Last few calls made me so moodless on the Saturday

Made me think of leaving there as soon as possible

Yet i cant...I CANT !!!

Three more months i have to take it

Although is so much harder than i thought

Decisions have to be made in between this 3 months

Until now...I'm still standing on the spot where i stopped

for such a long long time....

There's many of tracks, blocks, dead ends all along my path

Why there's no smooth and wider way for me...

Why must it be so harder at every different level

Why others can be such successful without any suffer and choices

I tried so hard, being strong as i can be...

Because i know i'm different with some other people

But again and again i'm being push down hardly and badly

I did try but never fully get a chance

Fate that i brought down...Again and again i'm paying back for it

Money and interest cannot be in line always

Cant have it both in the same time

Only one you can have and another one you've to let it go

Choices are set by self, choose by self

I'm hanging nowhere....thinking what will be the best for me

Taking such a long time to make a simple decision

Admit...i'm a greedy one

Three more months....Long but short

Smiles are almost being replaced

Left not much time

Which way to go ??

2010-10-01T06:04:00.003+08:00

1st day of October

Hope that this will be a rainny month =)

Feels like bit blue blue dei grey grey dei these days

Make myself to bed around 8.30 every night

Not tired actually...but hm hm Moody 0.o

There's a great friend i wanted to thank such long ago

Chat with me a lot to cheer me up always

He always comes in the right time

When i really need someone to talk to

Although he doesn't know what to say sometimes

He listen and keep telling me to cheer up...*Warm

But, i know i cant be such greedy....

I cant have you to cheer me up always when im lost in nowhere

Anyway, so much thanks for all these times and times

Next time when i cheer you up, you have to chill ya

Don't make me a failure =(

** Pimples getting more and more on my forehead

Ish !!! Finding some ways to get rid of it....

Eye bags getting thicker and thicker even though i sleep so so early these nights

Why har ??!! Why har ??!!!

2010-09-27T06:13:00.003+08:00

Again it's weekdays which i hate i so much

I'm starting to hate so much of things...Anythings

Don't like the outdoor environment

Don't like the situation i faced

Don't like the people around me

Don't like to talk, walk, view or anything

So much of dislike...Including myself

I hope that everything around me to disappear

I hope i never exist before

I hope i can run far far away

I hope....and i hope

Still the wishing failed...

Been thinking these few days

Have i picked the wrong course ?

Is that the kind of job i prefer ?

I'm not the kind who can sit still doing the same kind of shits

I'm not the kind who can social with so many people around...How fake is that !!

After being as an OL....I can be so sure that that's not the job i need

I just cant suit myself in to the kind of 'big family'

Having such a big regret

I shouldn't made that decision 2 years back

And now there will be no way back

All those while as business student

I was just enjoy with the challenging of exams

Enjoy with the challenging to be the top

Enjoy with the challenging to break my record every semester

But i've forgotten the real purpose

Should i give up the position in the company

Should i quit and leave the place where i'm so unhappy with

I'm so tired to be there, i'm so tired to being so fake

My brain has been stop functioning for don't know how many months

I REALLY HATE THAT PLACE ALL THE WHILE !!!!!!!!

2010-09-15T06:30:00.002+08:00

Thought that in this relationship will only involve both of us

But i never thought i still have to take in other circumstances

Sometimes it really makes me tired

Once and once thinking of giving up

Once and once holding it back

Being such a stupid all the time

Keep on giving and giving to both of you

Keep on being such a kind one

Still that hard to go

Why cant my path goes smoothly and widely

Why there's only single option i can choose

Why there's no option such like 'All of Above'

People gets greedy and stingy

Towards anything they want and need in their life

And this is life

People are just the same, and im believing it now

Because, no deny im one of it

Thought everything can be in hand

after such long time

I thought they will understand more

Yet, im so wrong

Problems never been solved at all

From start till now, still on going appearing the same problem

And the same solution

I take it myself all the time again and again

Tired and hurts, only i can get

but just none of you get to see and understand

Why ?

I hope...

Im brave enough to see myself died in an accident

I hope...

Im brave enough to see myself died in a deadly sickness

I hope...

Im brave enough...just a little brave more

2010-09-11T11:17:00.002+08:00

Back to Penang
1st thing i feel once i reached
'It's freaking hot here ><"

Just had my breakfast
A very great breakfast which never have in KL
It brings up the taste of my childhood moments
There's more food to come :O
Just cant make me stop craving for more
Weehee

So bored staying inside the house
No activity, no shopping partners,
Haihss...
Mommy when can we go makan and shopping lerrrrrrrr

2010-09-08T06:27:00.002+08:00

Soon..im going to have 4 days of holiday =)
1 more day left Hee..Hee...
The only chance i can ran away from environment that i don't like to be

I start missing you already, bee
Im the one who told you is just 2 weeks we cant meet
I don't want us to be so sticky
But i fail..
With you beside has became a strong habit
Habit that cant be removed or deleted
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hm..macam mana i can cure my pimples on my forehead huh
and of course with my bangs down
Don't like to walk in and out from the air cond room
It just make my face more sticky and sweaty
Why just cant i sit still inside the room and work..Sigh
I freaking hate my JOB

2010-08-24T06:31:00.002+08:00

Been so long i left =)
Everything is going fine so far...
Yet lifeless

Months pass by
Longer i stay there Stronger the feeling of leaving
Waiting the day to leave but got no idea how long it will take
Sigh...

Keep imagine myself with make-ups
Haha
Fake lashes...Eyeliner...Contact lens...
Hm....maybe will get all 1 day Maybe =)

Is time to prepare myself
I hate my days

2010-08-09T06:36:00.002+08:00

Its Monday again WTH
Have to face the unreality VS reality environment again
Sigh....

Actually, got nothing to blog about
My current life is just so SORE
Maybe there's other think that working is the best damn thing
My Godness, i dont think so loooo....
Facing this kind of environment....
Better get myself killed
Peeps, when you have the chance to study
Appreciate and be Thanks

The world is too complicate for me
I make myself so unhappy and angry
Just because i cant get to understand until today
People used to look down on others status and that's fact
This is human being

To someone someone....
Do not think that you are someone so high class
People are born to be human
They cant choose what they want to be
They got no chance to choose
Fate chose them
and they have to live just what their fate is
So get a life 'Human'

2010-07-29T20:24:00.002+08:00

Last week of the month
Kinda busy with the bunch of works
People says im too action because i dont smile & i dont say 'Hi'
Used to it but cant get rid of it
It just so hard for me to cope with the people in the society

Human being....i just cant get to understand them
although im one of it
I never realize that people can be that fake...until today
Sigh...what a tricky mind they have
Fine skip the unhappy incident happened

Time pass fast while in work
Just cant wait till weekends
The only 2 days i can wake up late =)

Waiting for the 2nd salary
Never get to spend my 1st salary for myself
How sad ....
Im like earning money for others to spend
and cant even do anything bout it
My life....*sore

2010-07-16T06:45:00.002+08:00

A quick post before i ready myself for work

It seems that working has become a little part of my life
Mom is complaining about my salary is too low and unreasonable
and for sure it's really low and unreasonable as with the KPI thingy
But i'm so lazy to look for a new job again
So i will fcuk my life and stick with it

Few more weeks....reaching August soon
Our 4th anniversary...This is how fast the time can go Really fast
I feel both of us are no longer living like a couple
but like husband and wife...
both of us too understand each other
and it sometimes may swing our mood...
However, still love you madly ♥

Oh =) i pretty like my bounce bounce hair
Hehe...hubby said is not short enough
But i kinda like the length the shape (although was not special)
and of course, the straight bangs =D

Woo...it's a raining friday =)
Please rain the whole, i wish =P

2010-07-09T20:29:00.002+08:00

Weeeeezzzz.....

The good and the bad still going on and on and on
Feel much better with the uncomfortable environment and situation
Realized that sympathy and empathy can never fully fit in the real world
But selfish and egoistic will always be at the top
This is so called human being, realistic

Going for a hair cut soon
Short and straight bangs
But hm...Regret ??? Hope don't
Oh please don't please don't :(

End here...
Im lazy ;p

2010-06-24T22:01:00.003+08:00

Times past by silently day by day
Now it's coming to the end of June
And I left my blog quite some times....

So, i've been busy working these days
Slowly get in touch with my colleagues
with the working environment i actually not used to
There's nothing to talk bout in my working life
It's just too bored

Gonna get my hair fix again
Want back my straight bangs
Just cant suit myself with side bangs
Recently thinking what should i get after i have my 1st salary =)
I need a pro hair cut probably =P
New dresses and shoes squeeze in my wardrobe ~ Online shopping
Erm.....can only think of these stuff
I just cant wait Hehe
Oh oh...story books too
Some books really caught my eyes

P/S: If my mom knows all these are wondering in my mind right now, gosh i will be so dead

2010-06-03T21:44:00.002+08:00

So...it's already Thursday
In the second week of this job
The longer i stay the more i feel like quitting
Again i can never get a chance to choose

Problems never end
Increasing day by day
I'm so tired with all these
I feel so helpless sometimes
Tears can just drip anytime anywhere....

Read something really attracted me from mail today
It's a topic about 'Choice'
The article was in the office's mail box
But never get to copy out
Post it up when i have it

Counting down...to weekends
The only time i can really get some rest of mind
His arms and shoulders will always be there for me ♥

2010-05-31T22:40:00.003+08:00

Been nagged by mom for weeks after my final
that i'm not looking for a job
So...found myself an office job
Some where near my housing area
Some where which very deep inside from the main road

First day to work
I almost cry out loud like no one's business
I do not know that's how an office job work
It's totally not my style not my way and not my life
And i realized that i'm not the kind that can sit still in the office
facing the computer looking and clicking in the system
This is totally not i expect at first

People say slowly you will get used to it
But i don't think so
I just cant live with this kind of environment
And i don't want to live in this kind of environment for my entire career

Today is just my 2nd day to job
Once i wake and think that i have to go back to office
Tears almost drip But think once again
I cant I don't want to but i cant
I cant choose i can never have more chances to choose all along my life path

I'm born to live for others but never once for myself NEVER
I'm bored with this I hate so much of this
So what ??!! I'm the weakest human being

2010-05-25T17:46:00.001+08:00

I'm................
Seriously thinking.............
心.....烦 =(

2010-05-18T17:20:00.002+08:00

Today...ermm went for a job interview
and i failed LOL because i don't have any working experience

Been thinking about my future recently...
What if i suddenly tell them that i might pick the wrong course
What if i suddenly tell them that my major interest is not what i've studied
NO i cant...I cant break their hopes on me just because of my stupid dream
What so ever....keep it bottom of my heart and *splash slap wake*

Gonna get myself a job as soon as possible
Gonna search for scholarship as soon as possible too
Dear CGPA, please rise back up...*pray hard =(

2010-05-13T16:28:00.002+08:00

Feels like blogging today
Again i had lots of thing in mind the past few days
Wanted to write all out
But due to my laziness...So forget bout it

It's already the 2nd week i leave college, books, blackboards, notes......after the final
And i'm still rotting at home
Looking for job vacant around my housing area currently
Cant go any further without my own transport
The most vexed is i don't even know what kind of job i'm interested in
Mom keep nagging as like i never try hard to look for a job
Oh well i do try hard ok....
How long more i can only meet up with those blackboards, notes....again

People used to hate their school's life when they were still in school
After they started to work and they will keep telling you that they missed their school's life much...
Human's 'culture'....
I do...but only my secondary school's life
A 'miserable' school's life for 5 years in the most SUX secondary school
And i'm still survive *Bravo

** The north-pole magnetic woke up dd....
BB

2010-05-05T16:45:00.002+08:00

Erm....how long i left my blog so 'deadly' silence
So i am back to blog =P
Finals ended College life ended too
I am currently FREE and BORED

Start my story before the exam week....
It was the worst week i ever had before exam
Emotions went up and down every single day ><
Had big fight with bee through SMS~ing
I just couldn't control myself and pissed up him
Yet i don't know why
Stress stress and stress Down down and down

Then exam week started....
1st paper was still OK until i took CF paper
I was like OMFG !!!!
Super stress again...
I wanted to raise my CGPA out from the boader
But now thanks to his bloodily paper Gosh !!
English paper is always the subject i got no confidence in and make me so worried
Got nothing i can do anymore but just waiting for the result to release

Have to start looking for a job ddd
I really want to continue my study soon
But i know i will not able to until i get a scholarship or make my own money
I am still not prepared to work *Sigh~

2010-04-16T12:33:00.002+08:00

A quick post for today ~~

These few days are steaming hot
I bath twice in an hour before bed almost every night *sigh
Cant even 100% concentrate in my revision
Due to the weather makes me feel so sticky =(

Money flowed just like the tap water this month ><
Come back to me soon k =(
I saw so many t-shirts i like so much
but....

Another week arriving soon
Still have bunch of theory haven study
Focus areas given do not seem like focus area
Feels like a book nerd already...

2010-04-12T12:06:00.002+08:00

From this week onwards...no more assignments to rush =)
Final is around the corner and i'm still slacking
I realized that is not so great being so smart
No one motivate me
No one nag me to study

Flash back~~
Mom used to nag me all the time when exams are around the corner
and i used to ignore her
So out came the result o.O
It was bloodily UGLY
I was once a rebellious girl
I did something really wrong once...
besides than scolding me badly
i can only see her tears flowing deeply in her heart
and it hurt me alot too

And now~~
I always make her feels proud...So proud =)

ILY, M ♥

2010-04-04T16:16:00.002+08:00

So...it's April now A suffering month
Still rushing for his shit assignment !!!
Becasue of the assignment i have to wake middle of the night
and left my lovely bed my sweet pillow my warmy blanket
just for his damn assignment

I'm growing fatter and fatter
Face getting bigger and bigger
Pimples grow so so BIG on my face
Eyes look so big and weird with contact lens because of the eye bags
The stress, sleepless nights brought me all these
that i HATE so much !!

After this shit assignment I'm gonna sleep for one full day
Then then then....Oh final
gonna start my revision for final
Again~~the same things go round again
Sigh~~

2010-03-28T13:48:00.007+08:00

Opps...finally i have a little of free time to blog =)

Im so freaking busy this month !!
Still rushing for assignments
2 more to go but due date coming soon
The worse is i'm always in a slacking mood Grr~~~

Erm...there was so many happenings going through this month
But due to i got no time to blog in the previous time....
I forgot Forgot everything except the assignments due date !!!
What so ever~~~
Oh ya....the 'wira' in my tuesday class !!! Acted so un-pro ~.~
OMGoodness how are you, uncle ~~

Last night ♥ i heard somethings that ~sweet~ me much
From HIM ~~ so 'unbelievable' A typical Taurus-ian...

~~~~~~♥♥♥
I'm so bored with my blog's layout ddd !!!
Feel lazy to fix it~~~
Maybe~~~ Maybe next month Haha

2010-03-13T13:10:00.004+08:00

Erm how long i never update d ???
It's March now and April is coming so..oon
Start busying with the bunch of assignments
Well planned but my plan always fail
*Slacking & Dragging then end up Crushing & Rushing*

Seems like so many things i haven't complete
I don even have time to clean my room !!!
Feels like sleeping in the rubbish dump

Trying to wake up early early in the morning
For my assignments
But !!! Alarm is useless for me
Argh ~~ I just cant get my butt off the bed !!

Someone?? Motivate me plssssss !!!
I'm sure i'll be rushing in the end
I need time More more time ><
Hopeless ~~~

2010-02-24T21:16:00.005+08:00

Field visit today was bored...
Ended at 4 Went back home at 5
My heel hurt my feet & it's so red and swollen now
Nothing happened much in there
Outside the hotel was hot Inside the hotel was hot too
This kind of weather still have months to go
I hate !!!

Something happened these day
Thanks so much to you guys !!!
Hubby i need you madly right now
How wish i can run to you & cry hardly on your shoulder

I used to the surrounding here
& suddenly you want me to change back to the place
that bring me so much of memory
is so hard for me to adapt
I missed the place where i've been there for years
but i've so much so much i don't wanna remember
What should i do ?? I don't wanna let one of you down
Both of you are so important...which i cant compare

P/S: Still lazy to fix my layout...Will fix it when i've the mood

2010-02-23T21:37:00.005+08:00

I'm crazy with shoes again...
Found an online shopping site
Saw lots of shoe and boot
I really want it all
I'm gonna get all of u one day

Nothing much happened today
Had test for OM
Never study at all + her note broke my mood to study
Shot most of the answers & i got 20/30 if not mistaken
.....

Tmr having a field visit to a hotel
just right beside college Swtx...
Oh no walk under the hot hot sun with those wearing???
Rain please Rain please Rain everyday the best

Still dunno what sub to start for assignment
As the time goes it will be a crash of all assignment
Same thing goes on again
This is the attitude i 'trained' up in the past few sem
=p

2010-02-22T21:20:00.002+08:00

The end of a week of holiday
Back to school again...
Still never start anything for any assignments
Will really force myself to start everything by this week
I don't want any last minute work
Plus i can have more time for the xxx lecturer's work
I freaking hate that !!!

Bao Bao came back to me d
All along from Ipoh back to me
I promise i won't forget again
I cant live without u
Cant sleep without u
Muackz Muackx ♥

Missed J.C so much too
Couldn't wait to see him when in school
Kept thinking bout him
Couldn't really concentrate in class
My phone's screen saver also changed to his picture
OMG...I'm falling in love to u Baby
Muackx Muackx too ♥

Weather is freaking hot these days
Rain rain please come again...
I feel so sticky Euwwww
Gonna bath again ....
BB

2010-02-21T00:00:00.003+08:00

Hm...
Suddenly have some kind of weird feelings
Just like tons of rock on me
A kind of pressure + stress + nervous
which i suppose not to have

2 more months to go or maybe shorter
I will temporarily throw all my books away
and step out to the real world for what i've studied
Complicated than what i've been learning in school
Facing my next part of life without books, no more exams homeworks...

But don't know why don't know how
I have the stupid weird thoughts which i can't get rid of it
Once i think that i am gonna leave school & looking for a job
i can only feel so much of pressure bringing me down deeply
I am not saying that i don't want to have a career
But i never been alone before in this 19 years without my mom
Rely too much on her Everything is planned by her
She decides almost everything for me
& now in a sudden i am going to plan and decide everything
for what i'll be doing so soon

Haih...what a shame right
Is time to grow stupid !!!
I can't always hiding behind you, mommy
No one's gonna protect me always in me entire life
Because i am gonna protect you in return
Is tough hard but is really the time to let you go, mommy
Stop holding too hard
I know i won't be giving up easily...one day
Love you ♥Mom

2010-02-18T21:17:00.009+08:00

Back to my home sweet home
Left 1 thing which is so so important to me
at my uncle's house
How can i forget !!! Haihx
Faster come back to me k...

I went back hometown at 14 Feb
Had my breakfast with polystyrene + soup in it
Gosh if i have ur food there everyday
My life surely will get shorter
The weather there was extremely HOT
Kept hiding myself in the air cond room
I will become roasted once step out the house

Went to grandma's house at night the next day
Went for movie with cousins right after grandma's house
Watched 72 tenants Sat at the very first row
Funny movie but headache + backache after the show
Then had bbq at my cousin's house the next day
Started having flu that night
And now together with cough

** A random shot Just woke **

Went to my uncle's house at Ipoh after 3 days in Penang
Weather also the same as Penang or maybe hotter
Had our lunch in a restaurant fulled with people
The food looked nice tasted nice
But i got no appetite at all !!! Wasted

Had our dinner also fulled with people
Waited for a place and our food more than half an hour
Electricity cut down when everyone was half way eating
So we had our so called 'candle light' dinner

Although was so dark and hot
The people still willing to wait for a place that might take up their time
Nice food is worth to wait =)
Gonna off to bed...

Where are u when i need u???
Why i have to wait???

2010-02-10T17:25:00.002+08:00

Im so..oo..OO sleepy
So..oo..OO hungry
The worst is i still cant get a layout for this
*Pissed*

My holiday starts but bored
Gonna have another early sleep today
Hm...

Bored looooooooorrrrrrrrrrr =(

2010-02-06T11:53:00.002+08:00

Where to start Hm...
Few days back i actually wanted to post up something
But kinda lazy & still lazy
So briefly draft out what happened few days back =)
Finally I made an egg stood up straight which only can make on the day
There's a force or maybe strong gravity i couldn't explain =O

Ulcer still in my mouth
I cant really eat due to i cant really chew
When only it will go away =(

I have so much to write here at first
But *Black out*
Still fixing the background o>_..............................................................
Speechless Buh Bye

2010-01-27T22:09:00.002+08:00

Recent activities
Felt so tired these few days
Woke up very early
Nothing much actually
As usual go to school
then back home
take care the naughty boy
Sleep so less

Studies status
Just finished 1 presentation today
Assignments keep coming one by one
Finance assignment is the hardest
Individual presentation is required
Lecturer SUX Start hating to see his face
I feel like waking him madly !!! and i so mean it
Shut ur stupid mouth up
Stop showing ur fcuking style of teaching
Don't make curse u max to HELL *Wira* F U !!!
Sorry for those rude words but just cant help it
I'm too fcuking hate him !!!

Love status
Relationship has reach the maturity stage =)
Understand each other deeper & deeper
Even though we never say a word
He gives me so much of supports no matter what
& of course he wasted his time too =( Sorry

Health & Wealth status
100% recovered from all the sickness =)
But i'm loosing my appetite these days
I just don't like my food looks much Really much
I need MONEY >< MONEY come MONEY come to me
Haih..i tied my stomach as tight as it can
But still cant get the amount i need !!!
I still need lots of things
How i wish everything gets better

2010-01-21T22:13:00.002+08:00

Again having some problems again It never stop
Again so hard for me to SMILE
I'm trying so hard Really hard
But again & again YOU make it worse
WHY !!!

YOU never give a chance
Maybe there's some but it might end up bad
I'm getting tired Really tired
Why cant YOU make it stop
What big mistake i did
Why i have to be punished for so long
Why have to make it so hard for us
Why YOU gave me the 20% chance to come to this world
& seeing all this going through all this suffering for all this

No matter how hard i try
No matter how good i do
No matter how kind i accept all this
I still cant win

2010-01-16T18:27:00.002+08:00

Been through the most unhappy day of 2010
& now i'm so awake
Though some of ur words were hurt
It just like tons of iced water splashed on me
Thanks for waking me up
I shouldn't rely on you too much
I'm sorry for being greedy
I'm sorry for letting you down
& now i'm not letting me down anymore
Live my life to the fullest

I have a thought few days back
& i'm still thinking bout it
Suddenly i feel like going abroad for further studies
Maybe few years later maybe more
Erm I don't know
Anyway i'm working harder now
Putting more effort in everything i do
Waiting the day i willing to give up everything here
& go far far away

I faced today that i don't want to
How stupid !!! I cant skip today alone
I hate !!! Once i think bout it I really hate

2010-01-14T14:46:00.002+08:00

Feel much better d
Medicine too strong making me so drowsy
Made me bit dumb dumb these few days
Missed 2 classes for 2 days
Missed my result slip
& i miss milo iced coffee iced
ice cream & so much so much more

Spent my days at home
Facing a super naughty baby
Non stop playing "Spot The Differences"
So addicted to it i don't know why
It's fun but hate it when it makes my eyes go crazy
Those pics are really insane

Baby starts to make noise again
OMG ~~
One more day to go
Love you weekends
Love you my only honey hubby

2010-01-05T16:13:00.003+08:00

Class started this morning
1st day of school lost the mood to study
Thanks to the fussy lec with his GREAT RULES
*Hello cant u don't be so fussy like auntie

Chinese New Year coming soon
The worst is on Valentine's Day ><
I need a new heel or shoe
I need a new bag
I need .... Need so much
Haih

Baby kept crying today =(
Carried him & made him sleep
Looked at his sleeping look on my shoulder
& i smile Don't know why
I feel so sweet =)

Is not easy to raise a baby
But when you see them going through different stages
When they have their 1st teeth
When they start learn to crawl
When they start learn to talk
Is pretty funny sometimes

Anyway i won't be getting a baby so soon
I'm not gonna trouble myself in this
Haha

Cheeseeezz =D

2010-01-02T18:11:00.003+08:00

So its the second day of 2010
And again Hello 2010 =)

1st of all gonna explain something bout my last post of 2009
The both person i mentioned were mom and of course my bee
So don't misunderstood ya

New year eve was my mom's big day
At 1st i really confused who to accompany
But at last i chose mom =)
Felt released after made up my mind
Sorry & love u Bee ♥

A new year started My new & last sem starting soon too
Seriously i don't when class gonna start
Don't even have a time table :|
Result out soon It gonna be so Shit Really shit
One month they have to arrange all the slips
So can we have our result just in time ??

Hoping this year can be better
But i know most of the time will mix up some of the bad ones
Maybe a lot or a little i don't know
Anyway i'm preparing & looking forward bout it
4 months more to end my course
Gonna get myself up looking for a job
I'm so lazy bout it but i cant say NO

All these years i have lots of YOU along
Loving me Caring me
And now is time for me to love you care you in return
Love ♥

** Searching for a new blog skin
** Bored with the PINK already
** Want to try new colour
** But i still cant get a PERFECT one =(

End here Bye ;p

2009-12-30T21:40:00.002+08:00

Haih currently so confused now

Both also i want Both also i love

Every end of the year have to go through this

Again have to be the bad 1 Haih

I really don't want to but

I also don't want to let go another 1

Ishx Such a failure

I broke her heart deeply Haih

2009-12-28T21:09:00.002+08:00

Today my worst day which almost got me killed I felt~~

The pain wasn't hurt but kill Gosh

The pain suddenly came visit

Dad & mom were out Baby was here But i was fainting

Got no idea how Cant stand though

Sat alone in the kitchen waiting someone to come back home

The pain got stronger It made me hard to breath

Was forcing myself not to faint because i don't want to die

Thought i was dying Whole mind was Bee

Wanted to sms him & tell but i don't want he worried

& luckily i never =)

So shit What a day & now the pain starts attacking AGAIN !!!

The fear of dying cant be described
Even though if you always think of dying
Love urself & all the others around u ♥

3 more days to the end of 2009

Preparing for next year which i think it gonna get more worse

So looking forward for the bad & think good =)

Last =) Bye bye shit December in advance

2009-12-20T22:06:00.002+08:00

A new week gonna start tomorrow Still having my bored holiday at home ><
Weekdays busy with the notti baby ♥
Weekends busy with my sweet bee bee ♥
They make my day brighter =)

A little unhappy today
Hubby let go his gold fish its freedom =(
But he bought back some guppies
My guppies are way back prettier than those he bought
Hehe i kept telling him that =P
Don't know why some seem like dying d
Maybe not used to the new environment

Hubby keep complaining i'm getting fatter ><
& yeap i admit
Really have to take it seriously d
But i'm so free & it makes me eat non stop
How shit ~~

Not really wanna sit in front the com d
MSN always make my toolbar full
Facebook nothing much to do d
Kinda lazy to approve my friend request
Too bad if delete So i will approve all at once one day
** Congratz Cindy, you can get rid from com d ** ^^v

2009-12-16T13:31:00.002+08:00

I set a wall up between & now i'm taking back down
It's me starting all these & I'm stopping it
Too much of sadness i brought in between us included my own problems
So everything is fine now Back to the normal Me

Smsed with hubby last night Talked about who's gonna leave each other first
What a stupid topic Don't know how it started
Hubby keep saying that i will leave him first after i start to work
& i keep saying that i won't
Lol keep arguing about it ==||

Yeah we never know how our future will be
There will be changes but we cant predict whether it's good or bad
However a promise is made to be forever
Since we made it & it shall not be broke easily
So do i Loving you still & always ♥

Have to thank someone really special here
You are here for me whenever i need somebody
You make me smile with an oink face all the time
But i realized im being greedy sometimes
I don't how will make you feel
I just know i shouldn't rely on you too much
Anyway thanks alot =) you're my bestie that i cant live without
Best buddy ever

2009-12-14T13:56:00.002+08:00

A black Sunday i had
A pain of heart broke once i knew something i'm not supposed to know
Picking up the broken pieces again
& I'll be fine again

Anyway It was my fault I shouldn't
Shouldn't brought out all my jealousy
Shouldn't brought up the curiosities have in me
Shouldn't know too much
I'm sorry

I believe in you Really i do
It's been more than 3 years we share, talk, cry, laugh and love
& never stop You told me not to let go
So i do I never let go & wouldn't let go
But i scare I scare you'll go backwards
Back to what you were those days
I pray I please Don't

You can have your freedom Wouldn't mind anymore
But at least you tell & don't lie
Wouldn't mind where you going to who you going with
But please don't ruin our future

Last but not least I still loving you much
& will not let go if you never ask
Don't worry how i will be because
我, 哭過就好了 ♥

2009-12-12T21:22:00.002+08:00

My most unhappy Saturday...

I know i'm being so childish...but i tried Really tried I still cant CANT !!

Where's the ME with smile... Why i care so much? Where's my kind and big heart go?

There's no much time left for me to restore back to myself...The normal ME...

I have to let go..forget and continue...

I'm sorry...my friends I'm still hiding some part of myself...I will be fine soon...

Sorry i never say anything...I can keep to myself...I can

哭過就好了 =) There'll be a day, I'll get myself to settle down...& stop thinking

** I need time...a little more...to step out...

2009-12-10T21:15:00.004+08:00

Something happened last few days...Was really really down Trying to forget about it I'll soon recover~~

* Dear friend...i will be fine...don't worry ya =)

Have to 'restore' myself and change all my bad habits in study...Last sem will be having really tough time...Gonna put more effort in...And let go the relationship problems...

Baked cookies this whole noon...Taste yummy but it looks ugly = =|| Wondering why the cookies turned soft after let it cool ><

* Ta Da =)

* Behind the scene a.k.a The mess

Oh ya Christmas coming Ho Ho Ho ^^

From: Baby Jerrell =)

2009-12-07T11:12:00.002+08:00

Feels like bit long never come up here d....So sem break starts Bored

Want a job currently to spend my so free time...One friend of my mom is opening a boutique soon So i simply asked mom whether her friend need a part time promoter a not but i'm not serious with it actually haha...
So mom asked her friend then her friend explained so much of criteria as a fashion promoter Swtx ~~

I made up my mind after whatever she told me =\ I will only put dresses on myself but not be the one who put the dress to the others It will just make me jealous much >< If my mom knows this is what my thought she will probably asking me to marry a rich guy and have all the people to serve me ....

However, that's a big big NO...I rather have my own money than using others...And this is what i learn since young till now...Never ever 100% rely on a man =) Ok..skip this...

I'm recovering from the pain...and slowly i'm really not gonna mind anymore...Slowly letting go...Realized our relationship has already exceeded the normal couple would be...Too understand each other until we can know what's in our mind without telling or saying it out...Good or Bad?? Hmmm...anyway...Still loving u so much ♥

2009-11-30T20:03:00.002+08:00

Since i said im not gonna care so much d so...Back to the usual me Best to keep everything ito myself =)

So final ended for me...Ended badly Haih >< Studied so much did so much but so worst

Headache~ing...Finished exam still stressing >< Dad and mom kept asking how was my paper Haih

Cant u all stop telling me about scholarship...scholarship...scholarship Make me stress so much
Cant don't mind so much about my CGPA.... i don't think 3.5 is bad and i did my best all the time
I have my own path way to go and i can go all by myself...So stop stressing me asking and worrying about me this and that...

Having headache from morning till now...>< Fell sick more than 2 times per month gosh...I have a month to sleep madly...

November gonna end soon and December's coming up Then 2009 is going to end...
2010...Waiting for a better year...Better me Better us...

** Hubby, i suddenly miss u so much ♥ Love u muchiexx

2009-11-29T12:33:00.002+08:00

Don't know what happened to me these days...Being just like a mental problem person...Tired of being like this but so hard for me to control it...

It sometimes makes me feel like smashing myself to the wall...I can only get to sleep in pain...I scratched myself with tears again and again...

Dear cindy,
Just let it go ok ?? You are being so generous all the time...Why don't just keep it like this forever...Try hard and don't mind so much anymore ok ?? Let go girl let go ....

2009-11-26T21:09:00.003+08:00

Not feeling so well...Hurts so bad ><

Wasted a day again i think ?? The pain made me so mood less and tired

Haih my revision goes un~smoothly...Keep dragging it day by day >< Really have to finish up by tmr d
Hoping not to sleep tonight =)

Hubby, sorry i keep hurting myself so badly...Seems like gonna get scold by u again tmr :p

My health is getting worse to worst...Anti-body getting weaker and weaker...Skin layer getting thinner and thinner
The 'blue-black' spots are all over my leg but dunno why and when it appeared ><

Should i go for dinner??

2009-11-25T19:23:00.002+08:00

Feels much better today i think...Sorry peeps, i just went off without a notice last night...

Bee, i know u tried ur best...I shouldn't keep on disturbing u even i know u still ur own stuff to think bout
Sorry keep making u to worry =(

Having hard sleep this few nights...but don't know why Haih Had a nap this afternoon yet still so sleepy O.o

I started my revision today but till now not even touched chapter 2 >< Planned to finish at least 4 chapters today but i think cant make it d...Gosh enough time left??

Why only study makes miracle works >< Just only 1 paper to sit for...So i cant lose

2009-11-24T21:40:00.002+08:00

You still cant get to understand ...
Sigh of waiting .... Tired of caring
Slowly~~ and becomes speechless !!!

Hell what !!! I inhaled over 200% of carbon monoxide today...Got 5% 'sun burnt' even though i were under a shade !!!

Moody today Super emo !!! Stay away else u'll be cursed max to hell !!!

P/s: I'm sorry...just wanna express my damn F* feeling here

2009-11-23T18:40:00.004+08:00

This is already the 3rd times i on & off the com O.o Have to take care bee's games in fb Z.z

Getting bored with fb d ~~ Erm not much but still ><

There's so much of games that caused addiction to so many peeps around the world....
And some of them willing to sacrifice their sleeping time or even working hours Swtzz
I dunno how many of all the people are like that but there's some friends of mine are freaking crazy for all this *Speechless**

Ok skip~~
So...a new week =) and Tuesday is coming up next soon =(
ZoOm~~ and the time past I wasted my Monday to start my revision !!!
So hard to free myself to study on weekdays cause baby will be here ><

Haih not much time left to final Iiisssshhhhh !!! Study oh study

2009-11-22T17:52:00.002+08:00

Last day of the week...& i still never touch any notes for my final ~~

1 more week to go...Keep wondering whether there's enough time to finish all the focus areas Yet i still very LAZY to start O.o

Have any of u guys started??? Or still in ur holiday mood??? Lost my mood to study again X.x

Gaining weight in this month Grr...Almost have supper every night or late dinner
I can only sleep when i'm full...** I love to eat ♥ And EAT is one of the happiest things in our daily life, while others might don't have a proper meal once in their life So do appreciate & thank, peeps

Oh yea...i wouldn't get on diet and never in purpose Just let it be as long my weight still maintain...But i would rather die if i have a weight of 50 OMGoodness

Ish my Sunday is coming to the end...A new week gonna start so soon ~~~ Gonna say "Hello" to E-commerce ><

2009-11-20T15:35:00.002+08:00

Ish !! I'm so freaking bored !!!

I don wanna face the computer but there's nothing else i can do ><

Not in the mood to study yet Too much of stuff running in my mind X.x

It's gonna rain cats & dogs soon...

Means i gonna off now !!! Lerrrrr

~La mémoire*~*~*~

这四年里的我们

~La mémoire~~*~